There was a story I heard once about a saint who was dying and who was criticized by someone close to her for briefly complaining about her suffering. Her response was, "Thank God, I still need my Savior."
I don't know how true that story is, but when I think of it, it gives me hope. I am always in need of my Savior.
I am continuing to read Casey Cole's book on the Beatitudes. Yesterday I was reflecting on the chapter "Blessed are the Meek," and considering situations that lead me to losing my control. When do people get a rise out of me? When do I tend to lose my temper?... And I resolved to be patient, kind, and keep my composure.
That same day I experienced someone criticizing me. I felt so misunderstood. My immediate response was to to raise my voice in anger to defend myself. Words were no sooner out of my mouth when I just knew that this was NOT the right response. I was far from being meek.
Why did I respond in that way? As I think about it, what the person said had some truth to it. Pride kept me from accepting it. I could've said, "You know, you are right about that. I could've done it differently." Words spoken in anger cannot be taken back. Sometimes it's hard to say, "I'm sorry," because it is hard to admit to being wrong.
I still need my Savior.
It is so hard not to respond when we feel challenged! If we could only press a pause button to give us time to think! Mother always said, count to ten before you speak! Who knew she was so wise!
ReplyDeleteI agree that most times the things that make us react badly are touching on something we know we could do better. The best we can do is to forgive - ourselves for our fault and our neighbor for pointing it out! Forgive, pick yourself up, and try again!